Author Topic: My Reviews  (Read 4281 times)

Black Hole Sun

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My Reviews
« on: December 27, 2011, 08:39:13 PM »
So I started writing for The 'Shroom recently, writing reviews of non-Mario games. I'm not very good at it, and I'm basically just stealing Yahtzee's bit in a shallow attempt to be entertaining, but well... practice makes perfect, I guess.

2011:
*Psychonauts (November)
*Assassin's Creed: Revelations (December)

2012:
*The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword (January)
*Ōkami (February)
*NeverDead (March)
*Kid Icarus: Uprising and Asura's Wrath (April)
*I Am Alive and Journey (May)
*Prototype 2 (June)
*Dragon's Dogma (July)
*Spec Ops: The Line (August)
*Darksiders II (September)
*Sleeping Dogs (October)
*Dishonored (November)
*Assassin's Creed III (December)

2013:
*PlayStation All-Stars Battle Royale (January)
*MediEvil (February)
*Dead Space 3 and Crysis 3 (March)
*Tomb Raider (April)
*BioShock Infinite (May)
*Metro: Last Light (June)
*Remember Me (July)
*The Last of Us (August)
*Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons and State of Decay  (September)

2015:
*Half-Life series (February)
*Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate (March)
*Darkest Dungeon and Hand of Fate (April)
*Bloodborne (May)
*The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt (June)
*Splatoon (July)
*Life Is Strange (August)
*Until Dawn (September)
*Mad Max (October)
*Guitar Hero Live and Rock Band 4 (November)
*Assassin's Creed: Syndicate (December)
« Last Edit: January 13, 2016, 02:10:59 PM by Crocodile Dippy »

Re: My Reviews
« Reply #1 on: December 28, 2011, 04:52:41 PM »
Looks like I'll be picking up a copy of Psychonauts soon.
Success is not a triumph but a necessity; otherwise, what story would one have to tell? There's no mistaking it: You are only rewarded for the risks you are prepared to take.

Offline Martini

Re: My Reviews
« Reply #2 on: December 29, 2011, 04:19:50 AM »
I clicked on the Assassin's Creed one and the word 'faggot' was highlighted in bright green.

Really? ._.



I mean I don't care about language either but any words along the lines of faggot, nigger, etc (i.e. pejoratives)in the official wiki newspaper is a bit questionable, but aahhhhhhh who am I to have ever given a fuck about the wiki?


additional ramble I mean it's not really a matter about it being on the newspaper or the wiki's image or anything; you used that word knowing of its slang meaning as a slur in today's society and while I'm sure you merely used it in your article as a 'generic' name-calling device for humour, there's still people that don't like to see the word used, much less in such a casual way as if it's suddenly acceptable for anyone to call another person a faggot.

Yeah, I get it. Yahtzee says 'faggot' too. And if that's your way of getting inspiration from him or be funny or whatever, I ultimately can't really say anything against what you write, but I probably could have thought of a dozen alternative names that aren't as pin-point offensive towards a certain group of people, without losing the humour in the writing.
« Last Edit: December 29, 2011, 04:42:04 AM by Marcelagus »

Quote from: Uniju
i recommend the brass beast to everybody who can't decide if he wants to play as the heavy or as the sentry gun

7Jzxk

Black Hole Sun

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Re: My Reviews
« Reply #3 on: December 29, 2011, 08:03:31 AM »
It was green because it linked to Gamefreak's article; on IRC, we have no problems with calling each other such insulting terms, so I guess I just got too used to using it so casually. I didn't mean anything by it, it was just a generic joke insult.

If it bothers you so much, I'm sure I can get SMB to change it to something else.

Offline Martini

Re: My Reviews
« Reply #4 on: December 29, 2011, 12:30:12 PM »
I don't necessarily want it to be changed, but I guess I didn't think you were the kind of person who sees that as OK.

Quote from: Uniju
i recommend the brass beast to everybody who can't decide if he wants to play as the heavy or as the sentry gun

7Jzxk

Black Hole Sun

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Re: My Reviews
« Reply #5 on: December 29, 2011, 12:51:45 PM »
You must be the only one who didn't think that, mate. But in any case I'll avoid using slurs like that from now on; you're right, there are far better terms I could be using, so thanks for the advice.

Black Hole Sun

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Re: My Reviews
« Reply #6 on: January 22, 2012, 09:29:56 AM »
My review of The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword. I like how this one came out much better than the last two.

Online Dave

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Re: My Reviews
« Reply #7 on: January 22, 2012, 10:15:15 AM »
Quote
and I’ll sacrifice my cat to appease the pagan God of overused concepts

You only capitalize god when you're talking about the specific entity named God, not in the general sense. Just a protip from your old pal Shyguy.

Also that was pretty good once you got to the fourth paragraph and stopped rewriting Yahtzee's review.
« Last Edit: January 22, 2012, 10:22:16 AM by Herr Shyguy »
Loathsomeness waits and dreams in the deep, and decay spreads over the tottering cities of men.

Black Hole Sun

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Re: My Reviews
« Reply #8 on: January 22, 2012, 10:41:05 AM »
Thanks for the advice and compliments, but I, uhh... wrote all of that before watching his review. Just because I'm making the same complaints, doesn't mean I'm just rewriting his stuff.

(yeah I couldn't type that with a straight face, don't worry)

Offline Martini

Re: My Reviews
« Reply #9 on: January 22, 2012, 04:13:26 PM »
eventually you may consider challenging yourself by writing a review of a video game Yahtzee hasn't reviewed/hasn't reviewed yet.



or not.

Quote from: Uniju
i recommend the brass beast to everybody who can't decide if he wants to play as the heavy or as the sentry gun

7Jzxk

Black Hole Sun

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Re: My Reviews
« Reply #10 on: January 22, 2012, 04:33:40 PM »
I try to review mostly recent releases, and I usually pick out which games I'm going to review a few months in advance... but I mostly choose mainstream releases, so Yahtzee inevitably gets to them before I do. :x

Next one is a game he hasn't reviewed, tho, so... I'll try to be more original with that!

Offline Walkazo

Re: My Reviews
« Reply #11 on: January 28, 2012, 03:55:40 PM »
A couple typos here and there, but overall, fairly good. I guffawed a couple times - and cringed a number of other times.
Too many fools who don't think twice
Too many ways to pay the price
Don't wanna live my life in the real world

Black Hole Sun

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Re: My Reviews
« Reply #12 on: January 28, 2012, 05:13:10 PM »
A couple typos here and there
where

Quote
and cringed a number of other times.
???

Offline Walkazo

Re: My Reviews
« Reply #13 on: January 29, 2012, 05:02:01 AM »
"astrategic" and "tonew" are both missing spaces.


Well, Nintendo's shrivelled old cock was a rather unpleasant mental image, and making fun of Parkinsons patients seemed in bad taste, but maybe that's just me being too politically correct. Re-reading it, nothing else really struck me the second time around - although I have to say, those birds look nothing like albatrosses.
Too many fools who don't think twice
Too many ways to pay the price
Don't wanna live my life in the real world

Black Hole Sun

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Re: My Reviews
« Reply #14 on: January 29, 2012, 07:26:16 AM »
Something must've bugged up in the formatting, as it's spaced on my Word document. Fixed it.

Black Hole Sun

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Re: My Reviews
« Reply #15 on: February 18, 2012, 11:28:23 PM »
eventually you may consider challenging yourself by writing a review of a video game Yahtzee hasn't reviewed/hasn't reviewed yet.
I have now done this.

Okami review

I think it came out fairly well.

Offline Walkazo

Re: My Reviews
« Reply #16 on: February 19, 2012, 06:56:58 AM »
Pretty good, but some of the metaphors and turns of phrases seemed peculiar, a couple parts were wordy and run-on to the point of distraction, and the continued "f-you"s to Zelda started to seem unnecessarily jammed in there.

If you want specifics... "It'd be a far more beautiful world if most gamers weren't so busy scrounging at what little they can still get from the brown, salted grounds of the long-standing, popular five-star rated pastures to realize that far greener grass lays in brand new, largely unexplored lands beyond their wildest imagination where even escaped mental patients can mingle with the "normal" people and still be branded geniuses." - maybe I'm just out of it because of my cold, but my eyes glazed over halfway through that passage, which is a shame because when I looked at it again and took the time to break it down into manageable clauses, it's a very valid diss. Also: your adventure continues with little explanation as to why so you can keep slaughtering a few more incarnations of all evil as if they're coming out of a fucking college and killing their dean will stop them from raiding the town and knocking mailboxes over. - didn't really get what you were trying to say here. The other main thing I took issue with was the closing: although I wager they won't be willing to throw away that cash cow until around the time of the fucking renewal of the world - seemed clunky, and "renewal of the world" isn't one of the ways you usually hear the end of the world stuff being put, so it gave me pause (but maybe it's a colloquial thing? I wouldn't know). That closing was also an example of exessive Zelda bashing (opening with it was good, but closing was too much: it would have been better if it was a general screw-you to cash cow series; also, while I liked the "but thou must proveth thouself for the hundredth buggeringeth time" bullshit contrast of the overall stories of the two games, the rip on the stamina thing seemed nit-picky.

Also, pretty sure Kim Sung-Il needs all three words to be in caps.


But yeah, overall it was good.
Too many fools who don't think twice
Too many ways to pay the price
Don't wanna live my life in the real world

Black Hole Sun

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Re: My Reviews
« Reply #17 on: February 19, 2012, 07:54:00 AM »
The opening line was meant to go nowhere, but I guess I could've shortened it a bit. But yeah, the college joke was way too vague (I was going to be more specific, but ironically decided it ran the sentence on too long), but I couldn't think of anything better and I liked the mailbox joke too much to remove it. I fully agree that the Zelda bashing was overdone, but honestly I don't care since the fanboys were being incredibly annoying about my Skyward Sword review. I won't do it again, I swear.

And Kim sung-il doesn't deserve caps! >:[

Online Dave

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Re: My Reviews
« Reply #18 on: February 19, 2012, 07:58:26 AM »
I disagree about the final boss, it felt like a complete cop-out to me. I can't say I didn't have fun fighting it because the combat is always good in Okami but it didn't impress me any more than a fight with any ordinary enemy would.
Loathsomeness waits and dreams in the deep, and decay spreads over the tottering cities of men.

Black Hole Sun

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Re: My Reviews
« Reply #19 on: February 19, 2012, 08:23:41 AM »
I enjoyed it because I was impressed with the gradual build-up of the fight, since you lose all your powers and have to claim them back from Yami one by one. It just felt like a great way to end the game to me, although the stuff with Issun gathering praise for Amaterasu dragged on way too long.